My husband and I – we know debt. Married for just about 18 years, but together for 23, we know what its like to live check to check. We know what its like to have an unscrupulous employer not pay for a job well done, we know what its like to owe Uncle Sam (I don’t recommend it). Over the years, I’ve listened to lots of people talk, watched what other people did with their money, read a little, and tried to accumulate all those bits and pieces into a financial philosophy that works for us. Here are some of the things I’ve learned:
Find a pro you trust. In 2008, just before the economy tanked, we started seeing a financial planner recommended by a trusted friend. I can’t speak strongly enough that you should get your advice from a trusted financial professional, not the internet or your Uncle Louie. Your financial professional will look at your entire financial picture, including things you never thought of as “financial”, and help you reach your goals. It’s been great to have an objective opinion on where we are, if our gut feelings have been right, and where to go from here.
Buy with your head, not your emotions. Once again, I remind you that emotions kill our ability to think clearly. I’m proud of the fact that back in 2007 when my Saturn, which I loved, started to show signs of age, I listened to the taps on my shoulder that told me it was the beginning of a long string of small repairs that would eventually add up to thousands of dollars. There were lots of cars out there that I liked because they fit my internal image of “me”. But I began my hunt for a new(er) car by Googling “best used cars”. Out of the top ten, 9 were either Hondas or Toyotas. That told me something right there, and I limited my search to those brands. As I was surfing around the used car lots, a little car I’d never heard of popped up – Toyota’s Yaris. Turns out, I could buy a brand-new Yaris cheaper than a used anything else. And I’d get all the benefits of a new car like a zero odometer and a warranty. It may look like an egg (mine is white) and sometimes I feel like a college student, but it gets 36 mpg and when gasoline was $4 a gallon, I was smiling.
Think ahead. When we bought our house, it was just before the real estate bubble started. It’s fairly small and we paid $105,000 for it in 1995. When our son was about four (2001ish), we thought about moving to a larger space in a better area. Talking to a real estate friend, we learned that we really couldn’t do better than what we had – it might be bigger, but not better. We chose to stay and put money into various remodel/repair jobs, figuring if things changed we could sell later. Now that the real estate bubble has popped, we’re not stuck paying for more house than we really need.
Don’t be swayed by fancy talk. Relating to the home story above… because of what we paid for our house, we’ve done well with three refinances. Our interest rate is very reasonable, and we still owe less than what it would cost to buy a house now. Here’s the key: we always went with a boring 30-year fixed-rate loan. We’re not sophisticated about money and figured if it worked for our parents, it was good enough for us. We’re very pleased that for once our lack of savvy saved us from getting suckered into some weird interest-only, pay-every-month-that-ends-in-Y kind of mortgage product. This goes for all forms of financial product.
Credit cards are a necessary evil. But they are evil. Pay in cash or debit card as much as you can. Use credit cards only for things that require a card, like EZ Pass and Jazzercise. And promise yourself that you will pay it off in full every month. Then do it.
Have a cash reserve. Have a cash reserve, have a cash reserve, have a cash reserve! This is the number one reason we kept sliding back into debt: no money to pay for emergencies. Whenever a car or house repair came up, it would go on a card. You can only do that so often before the whole caboodle spirals out of control. Our financial planner suggested we do a refi to get a cash reserve, and it’s been one of the best things we could have done (and something I never would have thought to do). Now when the dishwasher croaks, we have some money to replace it.
Store brands and eating in. One last category: food. My husband and I both prefer restaurants and take-out to cooking our own meals. Cutting out the eating out (some of it, at least), has been a challenge but it saves a ton of cash. I find it depressing when I run out of allowance and realize it’s because we ate it! As for store brands, these are definitely worth checking out. I’m a regular ShopRite shopper, and aside from peanut butter I would buy just about anything in their label. The quality is that good. I’d venture that most stores have some good store-brand items, so it’s worth experimenting.
What have you learned about money? Got any good tips?










11 comments
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March 3, 2010 at 9:32 pm
Alison
If you do not understand the illusionary concept of money you will be taken sometime, somewhere by someone who does…and it just happened to millions and millions of people who invested on Wall Street. If you do understand the illusion of money you are either a great yogi or raking it in on TARP money on Wall Street…Those guys are the illusion masters and I am actually quite impressed of the snow job they have put on the American invester…
A few years ago, I was teaching a group of my students about this illusion. I told them all…the end was near, I could feel it, I could sense it, my common sense was even telling me it had been too good for too long…I told the group to take their money out of their 401(k)s and put it in something that the illusion doesn’t affect…but why would they listen to me? Those smart guys on Wall Street, with all their financial degrees were telling everyone, “This is what you are supposed to do.” and “Everyone else is doing it.” and “This is the safest investment for the future.” Yeah, for their future. Funny…no one from that class even mentions that lesson…maybe they learned it the hard way?
March 11, 2010 at 8:19 am
Alicia Young
How very insightful for preparing a positive financial plan. From my own experience, I know I do better with frugal living than I do with middle-income living. I’ve finally learned my lesson how & what to spend my money on when I took a job that paid less than half the salary I had been accustomed to in previous years. I was still trying to live the life I had at $30K with only $16K/year. I selected an apt that was the same if not more than the rental house I had before and still had the same bills. What was I thinking? I know, I’ll make more money to cover the expenses, but when it didn’t happen I was already stuck.
So what if my living space is not quite what I want, if I’m paying a couple 100 less and able to pay my other bills, that’s what I should be happy about. It’s taken me 2 years at bottom of the barrel living to realize that this IS not the life for me and my family.
Yes, a financial planner is an invaluable resource and friend who is genuinely concerned about you and your money. I agree. Living below your means doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice luxury, it just means you have to “think with your head and not your emotions.” ~ Thank you for sharing your experiences – we all can learn from these life and financial lessons!
March 11, 2010 at 9:23 am
monkeywithglasses
I have found that luxury is a matter of priorities and choices. For example, I worked with a guy who drove a Porsche. People thought he had tons of money because of this – remember, they’re looking through their personal reality where, apparently, Porsche = wealthy. But he wasn’t rich, he just chose to put his money there because driving a high-end sports car made him happy. His home was in a regular middle-class neighborhood, he didn’t wear expensive clothes, his kids went to public school, his wife worked.
I would not spend my money on getting my nails done every week, or paying for an expensive car. But I recognize that these things are important to some. For me, luxury items would be having someone in to scrub my house a couple times a year, taking annual vacations (especially if I need to fly), and upgrading things in my home before they’re in dire need of repair.
Luxury is relative to the person.
March 16, 2010 at 11:51 am
monkeywithglasses
Alicia, I agree that frugal living is easier than middle-income living. I find it easier to avoid getting sucked in when I tell myself, “You can’t afford it” and just walk away.
March 16, 2010 at 10:35 am
PoLee
It is human nature to be envious when we see others “living the good life” but often than not these people are in debt. We don’t know what their finances are like.
My main money philosophy is “don’t spend what you don’t have.” So many people fall into the trap of using credit to buy whatever they want and that’s how debt creeps up on you. We search for sales and stock up when we can. Monitor your cash flow and invest as much as possible.
March 16, 2010 at 11:50 am
monkeywithglasses
Excellent advice, PoLee. Stick to the basics: save more than you spend.
March 28, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Car shopping « Monkey With Glasses
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July 29, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Florida Keys Girl
I have to disagree with you about the credit cards vs debit cards… If you are going to carry a balance you should not use a credit card because it means you can’t afford whatever it is you are buying. If, however, you do not carry a balance and pay the bill every month, by saving throughout the month, you are better off with a credit card, especially one with rewards. I can’t tell you how many times I have flown for free (to Italy, France, Spain and within the US) because I get points on my credit card!
July 29, 2010 at 5:16 pm
monkeywithglasses
Thanks for your comment!
I totally agree that if you’re responsible enough to pay off the entire balance every month and you’re looking to earn points then a credit card can be a useful tool. Unfortunately most people I’ve spoken with find that even if your initial intention is to pay the card off, when push comes to shove at bill-paying time, sometimes the ability to let it roll can be really tempting. Or you forgot you charged something else, so you find a surprise when the bill comes. One solution to that is to pay the credit card bill within 10 days of the purchase, before the statement comes… then you get the points and you don’t get the surprise or temptation.
I think its great that you use your points. I never pay attention to points and have no idea what I have or how to redeem them. I don’t really like to fly and it seems airline tickets are the only thing really worthwhile saving points for, although I think my brother got his iTouch on points. I probably should pay more attention.
July 30, 2010 at 5:14 am
Florida Keys Girl
I really like the idea of paying off your credit card early, say once a week you pay for what you purchased that week. that way, no surprises!
Oh, I don’t think anyone LIKES to fly, but getting overseas another way would take an exceptionally long time!
March 18, 2013 at 5:20 am
till debt do us part
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